Even if you love cooking healthy foods and working out, there are things about healthy living that can make you want to give a middle finger to the treadmill, go slide down a tequila water slide, and then frolic in a bagel ball crawl. Here are 10 times you’ll find yourself shouting, “BUT WHYYYYY DIDN’T GOD MAKE ME NATURALLY SKINNNNNYYYYY????”
1. When you’re the only person in your group of friends to order something healthy at a restaurant.
Everyone else orders the burger combo and moves on…but when the waiter gets to you, you ask how five different things are prepared before settling on the grilled chicken, steamed veggies, and a salad with dressing on the side. Buzzkill.
2. When you spend $100 at Whole Foods.
When pay day is still a few days away, you’re wishing you could just get the McDouble instead of the organic kale.
3. When you have no time for anything else.
You don’t even know how much time your healthy lifestyle takes up because you don’t remember what it’s like to not grocery shop, to not cook every meal at home, tonot work out. Oh, you’re waiting in line for your couscous to finish cooking? Two minutes of lunges…go!!!!
4. When you have to wash your hair every day.
Because even if your workout doesn’t take that long, the showering seems to takeforever. So then you say, “Eff it…if I have to wash my hair anyway, I might as well go for 45 minutes…” and then, before you know it, the day is half over.
5. When people are being rude about your healthy choices.
We’ve all had those moments when someone judges our healthy food or gives us a huge attitude about not having another margarita. Yes, I’d like to have an all-you-can-eat life, but I’d also like the energy to get off the couch.
6. When every muscle in your body aches.
Usually you’re feeling a workout in a “hurts so good” kinda way…but there are plenty of times when you’ll wish your DNA could sculpt your thighs so you don’t have to. Apparently, there are people out there who don’t workout and therefore never find themselves clawing through a bottle of narcotics due to their quest for health. Oh…hmm…lucky them!
7. When your significant other is in the mood for junk food.
They want to go out for pizza and beer…you want to stay in and make green juice. You might not want to date jocks, but at least athletic types are going to be on the same page. Of course, there’s also the risk that they’ll be more into their bodies than they are into you.
8. When you’re waking up at the crack of dawn to run a race.
Running a 5K is a great fitness goal…until you realize you’re going to have to get up at 4 a.m. so you have time to eat, drive to the race site, park, walk two miles to the starting line, and walk another mile to visit the Porta Potty before the 7 a.m. start time. All for 28 minutes of exercise and a crappy T-shirt.
9. When all your friends are partying.
Between the post-bar stop at Taco Bell, the lack of sleep, and the hangover, you’re looking at a healthy living disaster. There’s nothing like sipping iced tea at tailgate to make you feel like one of the cool kids.
10. When you’re forced to admit to yourself that trans fats don’t taste bad.
If you love healthy food, you probably love all food. And that includes some low-brow, processed, totally-crappy-but-incredibly-delicious food. If these things are so bad for us, why must they taste so amazing?Ultimately, though, healthy living IS worth it, and you put up with all these hassles because you know you feel so much better when you take good care of yourself!
Rachel Wilkerson Miller